I am discouraged - I mean, pummelled bloody, kicked-while-I'm-down, tears run dry & can't get off the floor - discouraged. My kids have been sick. My husband is sick. I haven't slept, and I can't concentrate on work because I'm exhausted and emotionally drained.
Today we were supposed to go to court. I thought there was going to be justice, or at least some progress. Instead, we are still waiting. I'm so tired of waiting.
I keep trying to tell myself that life is not that bad - look at all I have! I'm not finding any comfort there. There are always people that you can find that have it worse, but it doesn't seem to take away from what's going on inside. I still feel angry, ripped off, cheated, played for a fool. I still want God to intervene!
He calms my heart and lets me pour out my anger and frustration. He knows. He sees. He reminds me of His promises. And, even though I don't know if the circumstances will get any better, I have His peace. It doesn't make sense, really, nothing has changed - I will still wait. But, I have crawled into my Papa's lap - the best place to be - and I have traded my burden for comfort, purchased with a little faith.
"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take." Proverbs 3:5-6