In the past, I've posted to my blog after I felt like I had learned a lesson, or had some neatly-wrapped story to tell that ended in inspiration and warm, fuzzy, good feelings. Someone recently pointed out to me that good blogs are posted to frequently. It occurred to me that if I only posted when I had the time to sit down and thoroughly mull over some topic & wait until I learned what God wanted me to, we might all be waiting a loooong time. It also occurs to me that if I do said frequent posting, that you all will see me in the middle of learning lessons. Uh-oh, this could get ugly.
In all seriousness though, I don't think we've ever done each other any favors when we pretend we've got it all together. I certainly don't have it all together, and as I've mentioned in the past, I often stubbornly learn things the hard way. I can be so childish sometimes that something as simple as clothing can be enough to steer me off-course, and completely distract me from what's really important.
This week, I was completely distracted by lululemon athletica.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with this absurdly-ridiculously-expensive work out clothing, I would encourage you to stay oblivious to it's magical powers. When I was training for the marathon, I went through about 15 million pairs of shorts trying to find a pair that would let me keep the skin between my thighs. (Okay, it was like 5 pairs of shorts, but that's still annoying) Well, one of the girls in my running class suggested lululemon shorts. I was willing to check them out. I drove over to the store, and had some serious sticker-shock when I got there. Fifty-four dollars for a pair of shorts?! Fifty-eight dollars for a tank top?! No thank you. Fortunately, I found a pair in the sale bin for $35, and decided to give them a shot. Sure enough, no chaffing! See? Magic.
I have to add here that I looooove clothes. It's really pretty silly. Growing up, I wore a lot of hand-me-downs, which I never minded, but as soon as I was old enough to have a job, the majority of my income went to various stores in the mall. Now, before you judge me, I must add that I am one of the best bargain shoppers ever. The only thing I have ever bought full-price is a pair of jeans.
Since getting married, my clothing purchases have been a little bit reigned-in. My husband, whom I love very dearly, does not view purchasing new clothes as a need. He will wear something until it falls apart, and even then he'll wear it to the gym. I am thankful for this trait, because it is his frugal nature that has enabled us to purchase a nice house and be somewhat financially secure even when we weren't bringing in much income. It doesn't make it any easier not to want to buy clothes though!
A couple of months ago, I started a financial profile on mint.com (the link is at the top of my page - it's a free & fantastic website!). I set a budget for myself, and have been determined not to go beyond that spending limit. I've also been trying to work on the root of the issue - to have a heart that is content with what I have. Just a few weeks ago, I had a clothing-swap party at my house, which enabled me to get several new outfits - for free! I decided since I got free clothes, I would forgo spending any money on clothing the following month.
This is like a totally predictable movie where you know exactly what is going to happen before it does, right? Of course if I commit to not spending any money on clothes, EVERY SINGLE store I go into will have something I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT. Plus, I cleaned out my workout clothes drawer, I decided I toooootally needed some new workout clothes. The old ones were so dingy and sweaty. Ewww.
I 'stumbled' upon the lululemon website the other day, and picked out an outfit I decided I needed. I heard a quiet "no" in my spirit.
"BUT...." I started.
"adefhawefadjfh asdkrawieru. Commitments are lame. Fine."
Except then I kept checking the website every day, for waaaay too long. And E-bay. And the store in town.
So, I decided to let it go, somewhat publicly. One of my favorite things about blogging is to be able to look back and see how God changes me. I love that God cares about everything - even absurdly, ridiculously over-priced work out clothes. But more importantly, he cares about my character, and even more than I want some really cool shorts with built-in pockets for gel packs, I want to change. I want to have a heart that is content.
Stay tuned to see what God does...in the meantime, I'll be happily working out in dingy, sweaty workout clothes ;-)